love is supposed to follow marriage not precede it

Americans believe in "romantic" marriage - a boy and a girl are attracted to each other, fall in love, and decide to marry each other. Asians, on the other hand, believe in "contractual" marriage - the parents of the bride and the groom decide on the marriage; and love - if it ever develops - is supposed to follow marriage, not precede it. Mark the letter A, B, C or D on your answer sheet to indicate the word of phrase that is CLOSEST in meaning to the underlined part in each of the following question.Love is supposed to follow marriage, not precede it. A. come late B. come before C. come later D. come after "Oh, um hi. What's up". "Well I was just calling to see if we were still on for tonight". "Oh, um, hmm, right, um, yeah, I forgot about that. But if you want to, um, then yeah, sure okay I guess I mean if you want to". Insert awkward silence as I try to navigate through the. Baker did not leave for three months. By his last day on Aug. 12 2. Passionate love is a relatively short-term experience in our lives, and so the long-term aspects of love are of greater importance. The first set of objections indicates that marriage is a Slide on a shiny engagement ring. But she's spent most of her twenties in a relationship with one guy, 13 years her senior, who has never proclaimed he wants to marry. She's been waiting for a harga pasang behel di fdc dental clinic. 1. Task 1 Speaking Unit 1 lớp 12 Work in pairs. Express your point of view on the following ideas, using the words or expressions in the box Làm việc theo cặp. Hãy thể hiện quan điểm của em về những nhận định dưới đây, sử dụng những từ hoặc sự diễn đạt theo gợi ý trong khung In Vietnam, three or even four generations may live in a home A happy marriage should be based on love In some Asian countries, love is supposed to follow marriage, not precede it In some countries, a man and a woman may hold hands and kiss each other in public I think/ feel/ believe I don’t agree …….. In my opinion, …………………… It’s not true …. For me ……………………. That’s wrong …. Example I think it is a good idea to have three or four generations living under one roof. They can help each other a lot That’s not true. In some countries many old-aged parents like to live in a nursing home. They want to lead independent lives Guide to answer In Vietnam, three or even four generations may live in a home Ở Việt Nam, ba thậm chí là bốn thế hệ có thể chung sống trong một mái nhà A In my opinion, it is good when three or four generations may live under one roof because they can help each other a lot B I don’t agree with your idea. I think it is not good for three or four generations to live in a family because they will find difficult to sympathy their interests and habits. Therefore, there may usually be conflicts among family members. In some countries, especially in developing countries, old-aged people like to live in a nursing homes, where they can lead independent lives A happy marriage should be based on love Một cuộc hôn nhân hạnh phúc nên đặt nền tảng bằng tình yêu C In my opinion, it’s obvious a happy marriage should be based on love, the true love, because love is the necessity for the family happiness. Only the true love can bring about forgiveness and sacrifice D That’s true. It’s love that joins a man with a woman together In some Asian countries, love is supposed to follow marriage, not precede it Ở một số quốc gia châu Á, tình yêu nảy sinh trong hôn nhân mà chưa từng tồn tại trước đó ​E For me, it is not a really good idea that love can be supposed to follow the marriage. It’s an obsolete thought. Everyone should have a right to make decisions for their own, especially the one relating to their personal life. Because we love something whenever we know and understand it well F That’s right. It’s love that joins a man with a woman together In some countries, a man and a woman may hold hands and kiss each other in public Ở một số quốc gia, đàn ông và phụ nữ có thể cầm tay và hôn nhau ở nơi công cộng G I believe it’s OK. Holding one’s hands is a way to express one’s feelings or love, especially it is a popular way for the couple H I agree with you. How about kissing each other in public? G Personally, it’s not our traditional culture. Our personal feelings may not be performed in public. I mean in front of other people, except for necessary circumstances Below are some typical features of American culture. Work in pairs, discuss and find out the corresponding features of Vietnamese culture Dưới đây là đặc trưng văn hóa Mỹ. Hãy làm việc theo cặp, thảo luận và tìm những đặc điểm tương ứng trong văn hóa Việt Nam In America In Vietnam Two generations parents and children live in a home Old – aged parents live in a nursing homes. It is not polite to ask questions about age, marriage and income. Americans can greet anyone in the family first. Groceries are bought once a week. Christmas and New Year holidays are the most important. Children sleep in their own bedrooms Guide to answer In America In Vietnam Two generations parents and children live in a home Old – aged parents live in a nursing homes. It is not polite to ask questions about age, marriage and income. Americans can greet anyone in the family first. Groceries are bought once a week. Christmas and New Year holidays are the most important. Children sleep in their own bedrooms Two or more generations live in a home. Old-aged parents often live with their children. It is a common mailer in Vietnam. Usually the inferior must greet the superior first. Groceries can be bought at any time when necessary. Only New Year Lunar New Year-Tet holidays are the most important. Groceries can be bought at any time when necessary. Small children usually sleep with their parents Tạm dịch Ở Mỹ Ở Việt Nam Hai thế hệ cha mẹ và con cái sống trong nhà. Cha mẹ già ở nhà dưỡng lão. Ii không lịch sự lo hỏi về tuổi, kết hôn và thu nhập. Người Mỹ có thể chào đón bất cứ ai trong gia đình trước. Hàng tạp hóa được mua mỗi tuần một lần. Các ngày lễ Giáng sinh và Năm mới là quan trọng nhất. Người Mỹ chào mừng sinh nhật và tặng quà trong bữa tiệc sinh nhật. Trẻ em ngủ trong phòng riêng. Hai hoặc nhiều thế hệ có thể sống trong nhà. Cha mẹ lớn tuổi thường sống với con cái. Đây là một bưu gửi thông thường ở Việt Nam, nhưng bây giờ dưới ảnh hưởng của văn hoá phương Tây, một số người cũng tuân theo luật này. Thông thường người thấp kém phải chào đón người cao cấp đầu tiên. Cửa hàng tạp hoá có thể mua bất cứ lúc nào khi cần thiết. Những ngày lễ Tết Tết Nguyên đán là những ngày nghỉ lễ lớn nhất. Bây giờ thói quen này cũng được thực hiện trong gia đình Việt Nam, nhưng thường ở những người giàu hoặc trẻ. Hầu hết mọi người Việt Nam mừng ngày sanh của cha mẹ hay ông bà. Trẻ nhỏ thường ngủ cùng bố mẹ, nhưng trẻ lớn hơn ngủ trong phòng riêng. 3. Task 3 Speaking Unit 2 lớp 12 Work in groups. Talk about the similarities and differences between Vietnamese and American cultures, using the features discussed in Task 2 Làm việc theo nhóm. Nói về điểm giống và khác biệt giữa văn hóa Việt Nam và Mỹ, sử dụng những gợi ý đã thảo luận ở phần 2 Example There are differences and similarities between Vietnamese and American cultures. In America, two generations parents and children live in a home. In Vietnam, two, three or even four generations live under one roof Guide to answer A I think there are various differences between Vietnamese and American cultures B Can you give us an example? C Well. In the United States, usually only two generations parents and children live under one roof. Meanwhile in Viet Nam you can see three or more generations living in the same home D A different feature between two cultures is old-aged Americans often live in nursing homes, but Vietnamese old people usually live with their children or grandchildren A In America, asking about age, salary and religion is considered impolite, but it’s OK or acceptable in Viet Nam. This custom, however, is also kept by some Vietnamese people, especially among young city dwellers B About greetings, in the US anyone can greet the others in the family first, but in Viet Nam young or inferior people must greet the old or superior first C Christmas and New Year are the most important holidays in America, but in Viet Nam only Lunar New Year is the most important D Americans usually buy groceries or go shopping at weekends, but Vietnamese people can buy groceries or things at any time they need or want. I think it depends on lifestyle and family activities A About the ways of expressing love or sentiments, Americans can kiss or embrace each other in public, but this is considered unpleasant to eyes in Viet Nam B Birthdays or wedding anniversaries are usually celebrated in American families; they are considered important family celebrations. In Viet Nam we also see this custom, but only in young or rich families C One more difference in two cultures American children sleep in their own rooms, meanwhile Vietnamese parents let their children sleep with them, especially small children Tạm dịch Ví dụ Có những sự khác nhau và giống nhau giữa văn hóa Mỹ và Việt Nam. Ở Mỹ, hai thế hệ bố mẹ và con cái sống cùng một nhà. Ở Việt Nam, hai, ba hoặc thậm chí là 4 thế hệ sống chung một mái nhà A Tôi nghĩ có nhiều khác biệt giữa văn hoá Việt Nam và Mỹ B Ví dụ? C Vâng. Ở Hoa Kỳ, thường chỉ có hai thế hệ cha mẹ và con cái sống dưới một mái nhà. Trong khi đó ở Việt Nam bạn có thể thấy ba hoặc nhiều thế hệ sống cùng nhà D Một đặc điểm khác biệt giữa hai nền văn hoá là người già ở Mỹ thường sống trong các nhà dưỡng lão, nhưng người già Việt Nam thường sống với con cái và con của họ A Ở Mỹ, hỏi về tuổi tác, tiền lương và tôn giáo được xem là bất lịch sự, nhưng điều đó là OK hoặc có thể chấp nhận được ở Việt Nam. Tuy nhiên, phong tục này cũng được lưu giữ bởi một số người Việt Nam, đặc biệt là những người ở thành thị trẻ tuổi B Về lời chào, ở Mỹ mọi người có thể chào đón những người khác trong gia đình đầu tiên, nhưng ở Việt Nam những người trẻ hoặc người thấp kém phải chào đón người già hoặc cao cấp trước tiên C Giáng sinh và Năm mới là những ngày nghỉ quan trọng nhất ở Mỹ, nhưng ở Việt Nam chỉ có Tết Nguyên đán là quan trọng nhất D Người Mỹ thường mua các cửa hàng tạp hoá hoặc đi mua sắm vào cuối tuần, nhưng người Việt Nam có thể mua đồ ăn tạp hoặc đồ vật bất cứ lúc nào họ cần hoặc muốn. Tôi nghĩ rằng nó phụ thuộc vào lối sống và các hoạt động gia đình A Về cách bộc lộ tình yêu hay tình cảm, người Mỹ có thể ôm hôn tại nơi công cộng, nhưng điều này bị xem là khó chịu trong cách nhìn của người Việt Nam B Ngày sinh nhật hay kỉ niệm ngày cưới thường được tổ chức trong gia đình người Mỹ; chúng được xem là những nagyf kỉ niệm quan trọng của gia đình. Ở Việt Nam, chúng ta cũng có thể thấy phong tục này nhưng chỉ xuất hiện ở những gia đình trẻ hoặc có điềug kiện tài chính C Một điều khác biệt nữa giữa hai nền văn hóa này là Trẻ em Mỹ ngủ trong phòng riêng của chúng, trong khi đó cha mẹ Việt Nam để trẻ nhỏ ngủ chung với họ, đặc biệt những đứa bé còn nhỏ 4. Practice Choose the best answers Choose the phrase or sentences A, B, C or D for the best completes the conversation Chọn cụm từ hoặc câu A, B, C hay D để hoàn thành đoạn hội thoại sau Question 1 A Personally, I think a happy marriage should be based on love B …………. A. Oh, I hope so B. So do I C. I definitely agree D. Good idea Question 2 A I’m not sure about this soup. It tastes like something’s missing B ……………….It tastes fine to me A. You’re right B. Oh, I don’t know C. I couldn’t agree more D. I don’t think so Question 3 A It seems to me that spring is the most beautiful time of year B ……………. It really is lovely A. You’re exactly right B. You could be right C. You’re dead wrong D. I couldn’t agree less 5. Conclusion Qua bài học này, các em cần ghi nhớ một số từ vựng quan trọng trong bài học như sau point of view n quan điểm generation [dʒenə’rei∫n] n thế hệ to be based on dựa vào to hold hands v nắm tay in public [pʌblik] adv giữa công chúng, công khai roof [ruf] n mái nhà old-aged adj già nursing house [nɜrsɪŋhaʊs] n viện dưỡng lão to lead an independent life v sống cuộc sống tự lập typical [tipikl] adj điển hình feature [fit∫ə] n nét đặc biệt, nét đặc trưng corresponding [kɔris’pɔndiη] adj tương ứng income [iηkʌm] n thu nhập to greet [grit] v chào hỏi greeting n lời chào hỏi groceries [grousəriz] n hàng tạp phẩm và một số cấu trúc thể hiện quan điểm cá nhân Expression Reply I think/feel/believe that S+ V In my opinion, S + V For me, S + V I don’t agree… It’s not true… That’s wrong… Arranged marriages and love marriages are sometimes seen as cultural opposites, but it’s far more complicated. Anthropology shows how love and marriage are entwined in many different ways. ✽ Love and marriage aren’t the same thing Passionate love is a feeling, and marriage is a social contract. But over time and around the world, the two have been intertwined in fascinating ways—not always with romance coming first. The concept of partnering up in some kind of marriage-like arrangement is virtually universal in human societies. But the notion that romantic love should direct such partnerships has not been a constant. For much of human history, the family unit was likely organized around reproduction and social survival, which might not have always encouraged the cultivation of warm spousal affection—or monogamy. Ethnographic studies of some tribal societies have suggested that spouses were at some points in history considered effective strangers or even antagonistic enemies, united for the main purpose of procreation. In these groups, the sentiment of romantic love seemed to be seldom acknowledged or expected, at least in public. While the deep history of marriage is murky, sometime after the development of agriculture around 15,000 to 10,000 years ago in some regions, arranged marriages become the norm across organized state societies. Family members and matchmakers began to arrange who should partner with whom, with an eye on factors such as economics, social status, prestige, and carrying on the family line. The idea that marriage should be based in long-term companionship, or what we call a “forever love,” starts to turn up in books and writings much, much later Scholars have put it as early as the 13th or 14th century in England; the 18th or 19th century in Russia; and the 20th century in China. In each culture, the arrival of this idea of “forever love” seems to be matched with a push for children to choose their own marital partners in a love match. The result is that, in recent centuries, love and marriage have melded in new and complex ways. Our research, along with other anthropological studies, challenges the common impression that societies organized around arranged marriages are very different from those organized around passionate love. In most societies, sexual desire, loving attachment, and material interests are more deeply interwoven than is culturally acknowledged. ✽ Today the ideal of arranged marriage remains strong in India and much of the Middle East but has declined dramatically over recent centuries around the world, especially in more urbanized societies. Firm numbers are hard to come by, but today about 95 percent of marriages in India are reportedly arranged and about 6 percent in Japan. However, such statistics tend to gloss over a significant diversity of practices between cultures Arranged marriages are not always what they seem. Take, for example, a Dravidian Muslim community in Sri Lanka that was studied by anthropologist Victor De Munck. There, arranged marriage has long been the norm—but this does not mean that love matches don’t happen. In contemporary times, youth who have a similar social standing and an appropriate kin relationship can regularly meet, which provides the opportunity to develop feelings. More than three-quarters of the newlyweds De Munck interviewed in the late 1970s and early 1980s said that they loved their spouse before their marriage was formally arranged. This type of arrangement is hardly unique. Many other societies have adopted a similar solution to allowing their offspring to follow their hearts and choose their mate, while maintaining the desired patriarchal image of the family being in charge. Across South Asia, this love-turned-arranged marriage strategy seems to be gaining in popularity Love matches or elopements often secure public sympathy as a modern and ethical act. The immensely popular Bollywood films and love songs, for example, are beginning to blend the long-standing arranged-marriage discourse with love-centered discourses. A culture’s tolerance for personal choice within a customary arranged marriage practice varies—and is not always without danger. In India’s New Delhi, anthropologists Perveez Mody and Shalini Grover found in their research in the 2000s that love-turned-arranged marriages are increasingly idealized among youth there—and, officially, the Indian government’s policy and law is supportive of free choice marriage. But, especially in cases of pronounced differences in social class, caste, or religion, some couples face strong parental and community opposition, which sometimes results in kidnapping or violence, especially among the middle and upper classes. What is remarkable is that across arranged-marriage cultures, we see a fairly wide parental tolerance for an offspring’s love-based mate choice—provided it is converted into a public performance that acknowledges parental authority to decide who is best to marry. ✽ Another phenomenon that blurs the line between love matches and arranged marriages is the tendency to fall passionately in love after agreeing to marry. My Jankowiak’s research has shown this was dominant in 1980s urban China, for example. At that time, a so-called self-arranged marriage relied on friends, teachers, or colleagues to introduce someone, followed by a short courtship of three or four brief, unsupervised meetings. After this, the individuals either ceased to see each other or agreed to a rapid marriage. My interviews with about 50 people showed that during this exchange, individuals typically remained skeptical and detached as they coolly calculated the relative social worth each brought to a potential marriage. Once agreeing to marry, however, both parties typically underwent a sudden transformation that manifested in passionate exchanges, statements of joy, and shared fantasies about their future life with each other. So intense was this behavior that I could never determine who felt the deeper, overwhelming passionate love urban Chinese committed to an arranged marriage or teenage Americans pursuing a love match. I could never determine who felt the deeper passion urban Chinese committed to an arranged marriage or teenage Americans pursuing a love match. The anthropologist Mody saw a similar pattern among some youth in New Delhi The interviewed couples also began to fall in love after agreeing to an arranged marriage. Of course, couples matched up by parents or matchmakers may also fall deeply in love some time into their arranged marriage A shared life, with a similar background or interests, may foster feelings of passionate or affectionate love. The Makassar of Indonesia, as one example, idealize the notion of love arising after marriage. One comparison of arranged versus love matches in Indian American marriages found little difference between the two in terms of long-term feelings of love and marital satisfaction. Anthropologist Marcia Inhorn looked specifically at couples in Egypt and Lebanon, where arranged marriage is common. She found that many couples developed a strong mutual love—so strong that even those facing infertility whose religious beliefs and culture may encourage them to seek a divorce and have children with others often opted not to do so. ✽ Invoking romantic love as the basis for marriage does not eliminate the importance of material factors in making a happy match. While many youth are pushing away from traditional forms of arranged marriage in favor of love matches, the opposite is also true People pursuing love around the world are reaping the benefits of intermediaries who help make suitable matches in material terms. In South Korea, for example, where I Nelson have studied courtship, a prevalent way to meet a partner today is on a not-so-blind date arranged by a friend, co-worker, or relative. This might start with evaluating photos and asking about the prospective partner’s specs age, job, education, family background, et cetera before proceeding to a first date. Anthropological interviews show that these young people typically like the security of being introduced to a partner with similar credentials who has been pre-screened for suitability by a trusted source. The newest global matchmaker, of course, is the computer algorithm. South Korean matchmaking services such as Duo charge fees into the thousands of dollars to introduce members to potential partners who have compatible ethnic backgrounds, religion, and material assets. Around the world, the rising popularity of online dating can help people vet potential mates for important qualities—from appearance to wealth, education, personality, and hobbies—before meeting up to see if sparks fly. ✽ The lines between types of marriage, motivation for marriage, and feelings incorporated into marriage are blurry. Serious misunderstandings can arise when someone believes they have begun a marriage based on feelings of authentic love while the other person views the marriage as an economic-sexual exchange. Numerous researchers have commented upon the frequency of this kind of misunderstanding in transnational matches, where one party expresses an authentic, intense love while the other performs the acts of love to secure economic stability. One of the reasons for a parental-arranged marriage is to ensure individuals are suitably matched and to prevent the potentially short-term sway of sexual attraction from overwhelming considerations of compatibility. Self-arranged marriages are, arguably, just a different way of achieving the same thing—both arrangement types are often centered around finding someone with a similar socioeconomic background and priorities. Perhaps the indefinable “chemistry” often invoked as the basis for love matches is little more than a synergy experienced when interacting with someone with similar values, attitudes, tastes, and life goals. Whether love comes before marriage, or marriage before love, it is important to recognize that material considerations and compatibilities—across cultures of all kinds—often underlie people’s willingness to fall in love. Different kinds of marriage may not be so different after all. William Jankowiak is a professor at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, and an internationally recognized authority on urban Chinese society, urban Mongols, Mormon fundamentalist polygyny, and love around the world. Jankowiak has authored over 123 academic and professional journal articles and three books, and he has edited or co-edited four volumes. His research has been featured in numerous media outlets, including The Economist, The New York Times, Time, ABC Primetime, NPR, the History Channel, TLC, BBC, and NBC. Alex Nelson is a sociocultural anthropologist who studies transformations in gender and intimacy in South Korea and the ethnology of romantic love. He received his from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, and is an adjunct assistant professor at Appalachian State University in North Carolina. Nelson is also engaged in collaborative interdisciplinary research on commercial sexual economies, including the Erotic Entrepreneurs Project, a study of the business and safety strategies of erotic escorts in the and the Virtual Sexual Economies Project, a study of ethno-erotic economies and racial inequalities in the webcam modeling industry. Follow him on Twitter alexjnelson. Republish You may republish this article, either online and/or in print, under the Creative Commons CC BY-ND license. We ask that you follow these simple guidelines to comply with the requirements of the license. In short, you may not make edits beyond minor stylistic changes, and you must credit the author and note that the article was originally published on SAPIENS. Accompanying photos are not included in any republishing agreement; requests to republish photos must be made directly to the copyright holder. Love our work? Your support keeps SAPIENS accessible to all. RETHINK HUMAN Get our newsletter with new stories delivered to your inbox every Friday. Republish You may republish this article, either online and/or in print, under the Creative Commons CC BY-ND license. We ask that you follow these simple guidelines to comply with the requirements of the license. In short, you may not make edits beyond minor stylistic changes, and you must credit the author and note that the article was originally published on SAPIENS. Accompanying photos are not included in any republishing agreement; requests to republish photos must be made directly to the copyright holder. Love our work? Your support keeps SAPIENS accessible to all. RETHINK HUMAN Get our newsletter with new stories delivered to your inbox every Friday. Ludic Love Style views love as a game in which the player has no intention of getting seriously involved. Pragma Love Style the love of the pragmatic-that which is logical and rational. Assess partners on the basis of assets and liabilities. Eros Love Style romantic love imbued with passion and sexual desire Mania Love Style out-of-control love whereby the person "must have" the love object. Jealously possessiveness, dependency, and controlling are symptoms of this love. Storge Love Style companionate love a calm, soothing nonsexual love devoid of intense passion. Respect, friendship, commitment, and familiarity are characteristics that help define storge pronounced as STOR-jay love relationships. Agape Love Style a focus on the well-being of the person who is loved, with little regard for reciprocation. Compassionate Love Style emotional feelings toward another that generate behaviors to promote the partner's basic elements intimacy, passion, and commitment. Various Types of Love Created Nonlove - the absence of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Liking - Intimacy without passion or commitment. Infatuation - passion without intimacy or commitment Romantic Love - Intimacy and passion without commitment Conjugal Love married love - intimacy and commitment without passion Fatuous Love - Passion and commitment without intimacy Empty Love - Commitment without passion or intimacy. Consummate Love - all consuming love a combination of intimacy, passion, and selection pattern whereby parents select the spouse of their offspring. Parents arrange 80% of the marriages in China, India, and Indonesia three countries representing 40% of the world's population In most Eastern countries marriage is regarded as the linking of two families; the love feelings of the respective partners are irrelevant. Love is expected to follow marriage, not precede it. Arranged marriages not only guarantee the cultural traditions will be carried on and passed on to the new generation, but they also link two family systems together for mutual support of the couple. Selecting a spouse for a daughter may begin as early in the child's life. In some countries Nepal and Afghanistan child marriage occurs whereby young females age 8 to 12 are required to marry an older man selected by their parents. Suicide is the only alternative "choice" for these Theory individuals are motivated to emotionally bond with a partner to ensure a stable relationship for producing and rearing children. Learning Theory love feelings are developed in response to certain behaviors engaged by the partner. Sociological Theory the wheel model which has four stages 1 rapport-each partner has the feeling of having known the partner before, feels comfortable with the partner, and wants to deepen the relationship; 2 self revelation or self disclosure-each reveals intimate thoughts to the other about oneself, the partner, and the relationship; 3 mutual dependency-each partner is happiest in the presence of the other and begins to depend on the other for creating the context of these euphoric feelings; and 4 fulfillment of personality needs. Psychosexual Theory love results from blocked biological sexual desires. Biochemical Theory oxytocin and vasopressin are hormones involved in the development and maintenance of social bonding. The hormones are active in forging emotional connections between adults and infants and between adults. Oxytocin is released from the pituitary gland during the expulsive stage of labor that has been associated with the onset of maternal behavior in lower animals. This hormone is referred to as the "cuddle chemical". Phenylethylamine PEA is a natural, amphetamine-like substance that makes lovers feel euphoric and energized. "Love junkies" are those that go from one affair to the next to maintain the high. Attachment Theory a primary motivation in life is to be emotionally connected with other the cultural expectation to select a marriage partner within one's social group, such as in the same race, religion, and social class. Exogamy the cultural pressure to marry outside the family group you cannot marry your siblings a pool of eligibles the population from which a person may select a mate. Homogamy "like selects like" the tendency for the individual to seek a mate with similar characteristics, such as age, race, and education. In general, the more couples have in common, the higher the reported relationship satisfaction and the more durable the relationship. {Factors Race, Age marriage squeeze the imbalance of the ratio of marriageable-aged men to marriageable-aged women, Intelligence, Education, Open-mindedness, Social class mating gradient the tendency for husbands to be more advanced than their wives with regard to age, education, and occupational success, Physical Appearance, Career, Marital status, Religion/Spirituality/Politics, Personality, Circadian Preference an individual's preference for morningness-eveningness in regard to intellectual and physical activities, Traditional Roles, Geographic Background spatial homogamy romantic partners tended to have grown up within six kilometers of each other, and Economic values with Money management and Debt}Eight dimensions of self-disclosure 1 background and history, 2 feelings toward the partner, 3 feelings toward self, 4 feelings about one's body, 5 attitudes toward social issues, 6 tastes and interests, 7 money and work, and 8 feelings about friends. Findings disclosing one's tastes and interests was negatively associated with relationship satisfaction. Before you read Trước khi đọc Work in pairs. Discuss the question Which of the following factors is the most important for a happy life? Why? love money parents’approval a nice house / flat a good job good health While You Read Trong khi bạn đọc Read the text and do the tasks that follow. Traditionally, Americans and Asians have very different ideas about love and marriage. Americans believe in “romantic” marriage - a boy and a girl are attracted to each other, fall in love, and decide to marry each other. Asians, on the other hand, believe in “contractual” marriage - the parents of the bride and the groom decide on the marriage; and love - if it ever develops - is supposed to follow marriage, not precede it. To show the differences, a survey was conducted among American, Chinese and Indian students to determine their attitudes toward love and marriage. Below is a summary of each group’s responses to the four key values. Physical attractiveness The Americans are much more concerned than the Indians and the Chinese with physical attractiveness when choosing a wife or a husband. They also agree that a wife should maintain her beauty and appearance after marriage. Confiding Few Asian students agree with the American students’ view that wives and husbands share all thoughts. In fact, a majority of Indians and Chinese think it is better and wiser for a couple not to share certain thoughts. A large number of Indian men agree that it is unwise to confide in their wives. Partnership of equals The majority of Asian students reject the American view that marriage is a partnership of equals. Many Indian students agree that a woman has to sacrifice more in a marriage than a man. Trust built on love Significantly, more Asian students than American students agree that a husband is obliged to tell his wife where he has been if he comes home late. The Asian wife can demand a record of her husband’s activities. The American wife, however, trusts her husband to do the right thing because he loves her not because he has to. The comparison of the four values suggests that young Asians are not as romantic as their American counterparts. Task 1 Explain the meaning of the italicized words / phrases in the following sentences. Giải thich nghĩa của những từ/cụm từ in nghiêng ở những câu sau. 1. Love is supposed to follow marriage, not precede it. 2. A survey was made to determine their attitudes toward love and marriage. 3. They agree that it is unwise to confide in their wives. 4. An Indian woman has to sacrifice more in a marriage than a man. husband is obliged to tell his wife where he has been. Task 2 Answer the following questions. Trả lời các câu hỏi sau. are the four key values in the survey? are much more concerned with physical attractiveness when choosing a wife or a husband, the young Americans or the young Asians? are the Indian students’ attitudes on a partnership of equals? does the American wife trust her husband to do the right thing? is the main finding of the survey? After You Read Sau khi đọc Work ill groups. Discuss the question “What are ihe differences between a traditional, Vietnamese family and a modem Vietnamese family?” Before you read Trước khi đọc Work in pairs. Discuss the question Which of the following factors is the most important for a happy life? Why? Thảo luận câu hỏi Những yếu tố nào sau đây là quan trọng nhất cho cuộc sống hạnh phúc? Tại sao? tình yêu tiền cha mẹ đồng ý nhà / căn hộ đẹp một công việc tốt sức khoẻ tốt Hướng dẫn giải A Which of the above factors is the most important for a happy life? B In my opinion, love, good health and a good job are the most important For a happy life. A Why? B As we know, love, espcciallv the true love, is an essential factor for a marriage life. Someone compares love with light or water to life. Indeed, with love we can suffer the hardship, sufferings or misfortunes of life. And there’s an important aspect of love forgiveness. We can say love and forgiveness arc two unseparable qualities. A What about good health? Is it also indispendable too? B Sure. Imagine! Can you work or live a happy life if you are in ill health? A Absolutely no. B And a good job can provide you with money enough for your life and your family, because money is a means of comfort. A OK. I quite agree with you. Chú ý Phần được gạch chân học sinh có thể thay thế để phù hợp với ý kiến cá nhân của mình. Tạm dịch A Những yếu tố trên là điều quan trọng nhất cho một cuộc sống hạnh phúc? B Theo tôi, tình yêu, sức khoẻ và công việc tốt là quan trọng nhất Đối với cuộc sống hạnh phúc. A Tại sao? B Như chúng ta biết, tình yêu, espcciallv tình yêu đích thực, là một yếu tố thiết yếu cho cuộc sống hôn nhân. Ai đó so sánh tình yêu với ánh sáng hoặc nước cho cuộc sống. Thật vậy, với tình yêu, chúng ta có thể chịu đựng những khó khăn, đau khổ hoặc những điều không may mắn trong cuộc sống. Và có một khía cạnh quan trọng của tình yêu tha thứ. Chúng ta có thể nói tình yêu và sự tha thứ là hai phẩm chất không thể tách rời. A Về sức khoẻ? Nó cũng không thể phân biệt được? B Chắc chắn. Hãy tưởng tượng! Bạn có thể làm việc hoặc sống một cuộc sống hạnh phúc nếu bạn bị bệnh? A Hoàn toàn không. B Và một công việc tốt có thể cung cấp cho bạn cnoush tiền cho cuộc sống của bạn và gia đình của bạn, bởi vì tiền là một phương tiện nếu thoải OK. Tôi hoàn toàn đồng ý với bạn While You Read Trong khi bạn đọc Read the text and do the tasks that follow. Đọc bài đọc và làm những bài tập kèm theo Tạm dịch Theo truyền thống người Mĩ và người Á châu có những ý tưởng rấi khác nhau về tình yêu và hôn nhân. Người Mĩ tin ở hôn nhân" lãng mạn” - một cậu trai và một cô gái cảm thấy thích nhau, yêu nhau và quyết định cưới nhau. Trái lại, ngườỉ Á châu tin ở hôn nhân “có tính giao ước" - cha mẹ của cô dâu và của chú rể quyết định việc hôn nhân ; và tình yêu - nếu có phát triển - được nghĩ là sự tiếp nối hôn nhân, chớ không có trước nó. Để chứng tỏ những sự khác biệt một cuộc khảo sát được tiến hành giữa các sinh viên Mĩ, Trung Quốc và Ấn để quyết định thái dộ của họ đối với tình yêu và hôn nhân. Sau đấy là bản tóm tắt các câu hỏi của mỗi nhóm cho bốn ý tưởng quan trọng. Nét hấp dãn về ngoại hình Sinh viên Mĩ quan tâm nhiều về nét hấp dẫn thể chất hơn sinh viên Ân và Trung Quốc khi họ chọn vợ hay chồng. Họ cũng đồng ý rằng người vợ nên giữ vẻ đẹp và ngoại hình của mình sau hôn nhân. Chia sẻ Ít sinh viên Á châu đồng ý quan điểm của sinh viên Mĩ vợ và chồng nên chia sẻ mọi ý nghĩ với nhau. Thực vậy, đa số sinh viên Ân và Trung Quốc thực sự nghĩ rằng không thảo luận một số vấn đề, chia sẻ một số ý tưởng nào đó là tốt và khôn ngoan hơn. Đặc biệt rất nhiều người Ấn đồng ý rằng giãi bày tâm sự với vợ là không khôn ngoan. Mối tương quan của người ngang hàng Đa số sinh viên Á châu bác bỏ quan điểm của người Mĩ hôn nhân là mối tương quan giữa những người ngang hàng với nhau, không đòi hỏi ít hay nhiều hơn ở nhau. Đa số sinh viên Ân đồng ý rằng trong hôn nhân đàn bà phải hi sinh nhiều hơn đàn ông. Tín nhiệm xây dựng trên tình yêu Đáng chú ý, nhiều sinh viên châu Á hơn sinh viên Mĩ đồng ý rằng người chồng bắt buộc nói cho vợ nơi anh ta đã đi nếu anh về nhà muộn. Người vợ Á châu có thể yêu cầu báo cáo những hoạt động của chồng. Người vợ Mĩ, chẳng hạn, tin chồng mình làm điều đúng vì anh yêu cô chứ không vì anh bắt buộc phải làm. Sự so sánh bốn ý tưởng về tính lãng mạn cho thấy người trẻ châu Á không lãng mạn bằng người Mĩ đồng trang lứa. Task 1 Explain the meaning of the italicized words / phrases in the following sentences. Giải thich nghĩa của những từ/cụm từ in nghiêng ở những câu sau. 1. precede happen or exist before 2. determine find out 3. confide tell someone about somethine very private or secret. 4. sacrifice willingly Stop having something you want. 5­. obliged having a duty to do something. Tạm dịch 1. Tình yêu được cho là làm theo hôn nhân, không đứng trước nó. 2. Một cuộc khảo sát đã được thực hiện để xác định thái độ của họ đối với tình yêu và hôn nhân. 3. Họ đồng ý rằng không khôn ngoan phải tin tưởng vợ mình. 4. Một người phụ nữ Ấn Độ phải hy sinh nhiều hơn trong hôn nhân hơn là một người đàn ông. 5. Một người chồng có nghĩa vụ phải nói cho vợ mình biết mình đã ở đâu. Task 2 Answer the following questions. Trả lời các câu hỏi sau. 1. They are “trust built on love, physical attractiveness, confiding and partnership of equals.” 2. The Americans are much more concerned with it than the Indians and the Chinese when choosing a wife or a husband. 3. The Indian students agree that a woman has to sacrifice more in a marriage than a man. 4. The American wife trusts her husband to do the right thing because he loves her not because he has to. 5. The main finding of the survey is young Asians are not as romantic as their American counterparts. Tạm dịch 1. Bốn giá trị chính trong cuộc khảo sát là gì? => Đó là "niềm tin xây dựng trên tình yêu, sức hấp dẫn về thể chất, sự tin tưởng và đối tác bằng nhau." 2. Người nào quan tâm nhiều hơn tới sự hấp dẫn về thể chất khi lựa chọn vợ hay chồng, người Mỹ trẻ hay người châu Á trẻ tuổi? => Người Mỹ quan tâm nhiều hơn đến người Da đỏ và người Hoa khi lựa chọn vợ hoặc một người chồng. 3. Thái độ của sinh viên Ấn Độ về quan hệ đối tác bằng nhau? => Các sinh viên Ấn Độ đồng ý rằng một phụ nữ đã hy sinh nhiều hơn trong hôn nhân hơn là một người đàn ông. 4. Tại sao người vợ Mỹ lại tin tưởng vào chồng mình để làm điều đúng? => Vợ chồng Mỹ tin tưởng vào chồng mình để làm điều đúng vì anh ấy yêu cô ấy không phải vì anh ấy phải. 5. Phát hiện chính của điều tra là gì? => Phát hiện chính của cuộc khảo sát này là những người châu Á trẻ tuổi không lãng mạn như những người Mỹ của họ. After You Read Sau khi đọc Work ill groups. Discuss the question “What are ihe differences between a traditional, Vietnamese family and a modem Vietnamese family?” Làm việc từng nhóm. Thảo luận câu hỏi" Sự khác biệt giữa gia đình Việt Nam truyền thống và gia đình Việt Nam hiện đại?” A I see the traditional Vietnamese family as well as family life is changing a lot. A modern Vietnamese family is quite different from the traditional one. B Thai’s right. First, in my opinion, it's the size. A traditional family was usually an extended family, that is there are more than one generation living together under one roof. C But now a modern family is usually a nuclear family, consisting of only parents and their children. D OK. And the key fact we should mention is the number of children. A traditional family was usually a large one, with more than three. In some families, people could find the number of children up to ten or even more. On the contrary, a modem family, especially families in big cities, has only one or two children at most. A Next, in a traditional family, the father takes all responsibilities for the family. In other words, father works and earns money to support the whole family. The woman’s tasks are confined within the family bearing children and doing all the housework. B Now in a modem family, both husband and wife have to work to support the family. C And what’s more husband and wife should share household work together. D That's the interesting idea about the modern family everyone in a family has his / her own responsibility to do, that is he / she should take part in the maintenance or the building of the family's happiness. A OK. The husband and the wife must have the partnership of equals in the family no one is superior to the other. Both have their corresponding responsibilities for his /her own. Chú ý Những thông tin được gạch chân học sinh có thể thay thế để phù hợp với tình huống của riêng mình. Tạm dịch A Tôi thấy gia đình Việt Nam truyền thống cũng như đời sống gia đình đang thay đổi rất nhiều. Một gia đìnhViệt Nam hiện đại khác hẳn với một gia đình truyền thống. B Quyền của Thái Lan. Thứ nhất, theo ý kiến của tôi, đó là kích cỡ. Một gia đình truyền thống thường là một gia đình mở rộng, có nhiều hơn một thế hệ cùng chung sống dưới một mái nhà. C Nhưng bây giờ một gia đình hiện đại thường là một gia đình hạt nhân, bao gồm chỉ có cha mẹ và con cái của họ. D OK. Và thực tế chính mà chúng ta cần đề cập đến là số trẻ em. Một gia đình truyền thống thường là một gia đình lớn, với hơn ba người. Ở một số gia đình, con người có thể tìm thấy số trẻ em lên đến mười hoặc thậm chí nhiều hơn. Ngược lại, một gia đình modem, đặc biệt là các gia đình ở các thành phố lớn, chỉ có một hoặc hai trẻ em nhiều nhất. A Tiếp theo, trong một gia đình truyền thống, người cha đảm nhiệm mọi trách nhiệm cho gia đình. Nói cách khác, cha làm việc và kiếm tiền để nuôi sống cả gia đình. Các nhiệm vụ của người phụ nữ bị hạn chế trong gia đình sinh con và làm tất cả các công việc nhà B Bây giờ trong một gia đình modem, cả hai vợ chồng đều phải làm việc để hỗ trợ gia đình. C Và chồng và vợ nên chia sẻ công việc gia đình với nhau nhiều hơn. D Đó là ý tưởng thú vị về gia đình hiện đại mọi người trong gia đình có trách nhiệm riêng của mình để làm, đó là anh / cô ấy nên tham gia bảo trì hoặc xây dựng hạnh phúc của gia đình. A OK. Người chồng và người vợ phải có quan hệ đối tác bằng nhau trong gia đình không ai vượt trội hơn người kia. Cả hai đều có những trách nhiệm tương ứng với mình. Đang tải.... xem toàn văn Thông tin tài liệu Ngày đăng 21/10/2014, 0600 UNIT TWO WORK IN PAIRS. DISCUSS THE QUESTION • Love • A nice house/ flat • Money • A good job • Parents’ approval • Good health Which of the following factors is the most important for a happy life ? why ? - romantic [rou'mæntik] a - attract v/ attractiveness n - contractual [kən'træktjuəl] adj - On the other hand - survey ['səvei] n - conduct ['kɔndʌkt] v - confide [kən'faid] v in sb - A large number of - significantly [sig'nifikəntli] adv - romanticism [rou'mæntisizəm] n - response [ri'spɔns] n - Be supposed to do sth v Lãng mạn Thu hút; sự thu hút Khế ước Trái lại Sự khảo sát Tiến hành, chỉ đạo Tin ai, giãi bài tâm sự với ai Many Importantly Sự lãng mạn Answer Có nhiệm vụ 1. Vocabulary 2. Task 1 Explain the meaning of the italicized words / phrases in the following sentences 1. Love is supposed to follow marriage, not precede it 2. A survey was made to determine their attitudes toward love and marriage 3. They agree that it is unwise to confide in their wives 4. An Indian woman has to sacrifice more in a marriage than a man 5. A husband is obliged to tell his wife where he has been Choose their meaning a. Having a duty e. happen or exist before b. Trust c. Willing to stop having something you want d. Find out Answer keys 1. precede happen or exist before 2. determine find out 3. confide trust 4. sacrifice willing to stop having something you want 5. obliged having a duty - They are Trust built on love, Physical attractiveness, Confiding, and Partnership of equals - The Americans are much more concerned than the Indians and Chineses - They agree that “a woman has to sacrifice more in a marriage than a man” - Young Asians are not as romantic as their American counterparts 3. Task 2 Answer the following questions 1. What are the four key values in the survey? 2. Who are much more concerned with physical attractiveness when choosing a wife or a husband , the young Americans or the young Asians? 3. What are the Indian students’ attitudes on a partnership of equals? 4. Why does the American wife trust her husband to do the right things? - Because he loves her not because he has to 5. What is the main finding of the survey? 4. Task 3 Discuss the question what are the differences between a traditional Vietnamese family and a modern Vietnamese family? Ideas A traditional Family A modern Family 1. Number of children? 2. The kind of the family? 3. The head of the family? 4. Who works? 5. Who takes care of the house and children? 6. The income? A lot of One or two Extented Nuclear Fathers Both parents . nhiệm vụ 1. Vocabulary 2. Task 1 Explain the meaning of the italicized words / phrases in the following sentences 1. Love is supposed to follow marriage, not precede it 2. A survey was made to. not as romantic as their American counterparts 3. Task 2 Answer the following questions 1. What are the four key values in the survey? 2. Who are much more concerned with physical attractiveness. to stop having something you want d. Find out Answer keys 1. precede happen or exist before 2. determine find out 3. confide trust 4. sacrifice willing to stop having something you want - Xem thêm -Xem thêm Unit 2 Reading12 Chuan, Unit 2 Reading12 Chuan,

love is supposed to follow marriage not precede it